So I put the Welcome // Get to Know Me video up. I had to cut it in half and I haven't yet uploaded the haul. I'll probably get a tutorial up that is basically finished (re: editing) before I tackle a fifteen minute video to being editing.
What I've really been doing lately is living on Instagram.
Making and saving pictures. Lots of pictures.
I've felt pretty down about some things and my emotions are just back & forth and up & down. I went to therapy today, which helped. I was running late, like usual, which didn't help. But then I went to Goodwill and there was this thing you could sign up for and it cost $5 -- normally I don't like those kinds of things, but they mail you $60 in coupons over the next year and for today, your purchase was half off. So I walked out of there with TONS of stuff for about $45.
I'm a big Goodwill person. I tend to find a lot of things there. I walked all the way around the store and found things like baskets to go on these shelves I have on the 3rd floor (that I'm still moving into) and I found a curling iron that was the size I've been needing. What I was really surprised to find was one of the 3-barrel waving irons. I'm not the biggest fan of them but I haven't owned one in over a decade. When I moved out of one apartment, I actually threw away the one I had bought and I've been kicking myself ever since, but I wasn't about to buy a new one and try to see if I could figure out a better (correct) way to use it. But for a buck fifty, sure!
So I'll be trying out different curls with these new sizes I have.
I also did my makeup differently today than I ever have before. It surprises me how I just kind of randomly keep doing new things. I mean, I'm not super young (like 16 or even 22) so you'd think I'd have learned it all by now. But I haven't. And I learn by teaching myself -- simply by doing what seems like it will work. It's really weird. But I guess if that weren't the case, I wouldn't have the YouTube channel, right?!
Speaking of, here's the link to the first lonely video that's there::
Also, I need to finish my post about why I titled my blog and my channel what I did.
Why I chose the word "bare." There are so many definitions and synonyms for the word and I just think it explains me so well.
The problem is that the depression part of my bipolar is coming out a bit, it seems like.
And my anxiety is pretty bad lately.
I did miss therapy last week, which is something I almost never do. And I missed my mindfulness group so on Tuesday (a couple of days ago), I had to start playing "catch-up." Then, even though therapy was good, it wasn't on track with what we've been trying to do ... it was also a session of filling her in on what's been going on.
Which is a lot. One thing is a break-up and I'm not even sure how I feel about it. I'm really not. It probably wasn't going to work in the long run anyway, but we both wanted it to. Until we didn't. And that changed overnight all the time. (Not really on my end, though.)
So I kind of had a bipolar relationship for the past year, along with having the disorder myself and the end of it was MAJORLY CLIMACTIC, leaving me with feelings to sort through. We won't talk again, after a few pieces of property are exchanged. I do know that for a fact. So that's really odd to me. I don't quite know how to process.
What I've been trying to do is organize everything. If I can't control all these crazy external things, I'll all least get all this paperwork and crap in order.
There's actually an Anaïs Nin quote about that ... I should try to find it.....
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